Down to FOUR weeks!

It's crazy, but true, down to only four weeks. This was one of my reality check points. I told myself I would start getting excited at 8, then six and now four! I am a mixed bundle of everything. I am excited, nervous, tired, anxious, ditzy...did I mention nervous?! There is one thing I love about competing, that is the structure. I enjoy knowing  whats coming. The unknown is actually my biggest enemy and fear.
For example, I am nervous as anything about what will happen after the competition as far as my mood, weight etc. How can I even think about that at this point? I mean really...lets get to the actual show first.  But nope, crazy me is already thinking and worrying. All I I know for sure is, I won't have an off season like this past one as far as my depression goes. I will not get to that point. I tell ya, this past weekend I was my old self again. Relaxed, stress free, not worrying about the things I cannot control. It was great! I felt wonderful and truly enjoyed every minute of it. The sucky thing is, as soon as Monday night came, I was all anxious about school and worried about the week. My mood did a complete one eighty...I felt it in my body and bones...weird.  I have to work on that! I guess I should start by doing what makes me happy, not so sure teaching is it anymore. I would love to engross myself in fitness and nutrition. I love it all and find it to be so interesting. That's a whole diff. post.

Yesterday was a slap in the face. Right back at it...got up for morning cardio at five, then off to school, leg day and HIIT. I usually love leg day, but yesterday was  a struggle. I wasn't feeling it in the right spots, my mind muscle connection was off. It seems I was too concentrated on all my aches and pains and couldn't get past them. Needless to say the workout was unfulfilling mentally. However, physically my body is so over trained and beat up....it was a beating regardless of missing mind connection. It was def. a tough one to get through.  To make matters worse, it seemed like all the dummies were in the gym! You know how that goes, sitting on benches forever on their cell phones yadda yadda yadda...

The energy comes and goes quickly. I was up and at it again this morning, knocked of my morning cardio, buzzed around the house getting ready, then..... BAM ! I got to school and flat lined completely. It's not the best place to be zapped of energy either. I am a little crankus now, but I am going to push through. We have shoulders and arms tonight and HIIT on the stair master. Hopefully, it goes well! I am off to fill out another dreaded application. Did I mention I am sucking at getting my abs and posing in?! True story...not happening.