Down to FOUR weeks!

It's crazy, but true, down to only four weeks. This was one of my reality check points. I told myself I would start getting excited at 8, then six and now four! I am a mixed bundle of everything. I am excited, nervous, tired, anxious, ditzy...did I mention nervous?! There is one thing I love about competing, that is the structure. I enjoy knowing  whats coming. The unknown is actually my biggest enemy and fear.
For example, I am nervous as anything about what will happen after the competition as far as my mood, weight etc. How can I even think about that at this point? I mean really...lets get to the actual show first.  But nope, crazy me is already thinking and worrying. All I I know for sure is, I won't have an off season like this past one as far as my depression goes. I will not get to that point. I tell ya, this past weekend I was my old self again. Relaxed, stress free, not worrying about the things I cannot control. It was great! I felt wonderful and truly enjoyed every minute of it. The sucky thing is, as soon as Monday night came, I was all anxious about school and worried about the week. My mood did a complete one eighty...I felt it in my body and bones...weird.  I have to work on that! I guess I should start by doing what makes me happy, not so sure teaching is it anymore. I would love to engross myself in fitness and nutrition. I love it all and find it to be so interesting. That's a whole diff. post.

Yesterday was a slap in the face. Right back at it...got up for morning cardio at five, then off to school, leg day and HIIT. I usually love leg day, but yesterday was  a struggle. I wasn't feeling it in the right spots, my mind muscle connection was off. It seems I was too concentrated on all my aches and pains and couldn't get past them. Needless to say the workout was unfulfilling mentally. However, physically my body is so over trained and beat up....it was a beating regardless of missing mind connection. It was def. a tough one to get through.  To make matters worse, it seemed like all the dummies were in the gym! You know how that goes, sitting on benches forever on their cell phones yadda yadda yadda...

The energy comes and goes quickly. I was up and at it again this morning, knocked of my morning cardio, buzzed around the house getting ready, then..... BAM ! I got to school and flat lined completely. It's not the best place to be zapped of energy either. I am a little crankus now, but I am going to push through. We have shoulders and arms tonight and HIIT on the stair master. Hopefully, it goes well! I am off to fill out another dreaded application. Did I mention I am sucking at getting my abs and posing in?! True story...not happening.

Finally Relaxing!

I have been meaning to blog all week, but have been completely wiped out. This week by far, has been the toughest since prep began. My double session cardio has kicked my butt! I was mentally and physically beat this week.
On Friday I could barely keep my eyes open at school, as it was I sat in a chair every chance I got. That is so not the type of teacher I am. I never sit! My  energy this week was def. low and it played with  my mental state. I had a  mini meltdown in my mind as I was warming up for my leg workout on Friday. I felt defeated in my mind.  I cannot remember the specifics (hence the reason I want to write daily, so I can get those raw emotions down ) but I know it was rough.

At this point in the game, my body, especially  my legs have little, to no time to recover. Therefor I am depending on coffee to get me through!


On the flip side this weekend is a long weekend due to Memorial Day. I am enjoying it to the fullest. I feel way less tense and more go with the flow. This weekend we have had no HIIT sessions so that helps too.

Today was super productive. Brendan and I cleaned and organized. I think we had six garbage bags full to give to good will. I feel decluttered and accomplished. We got up and at it early this morning. We knocked off our steady state cardio right when we woke up. We then returned home for eggs,oats and Friends reruns. Sundays are my fav. because we get to eat and relax together. I felt this week especially we were two robots running on a schedule with very little us time, because of that reason, today was especially rewarding.  After breakfast we spent hours doing our cleaning thing, then took our lunch to the lake and people watched and caught some rays for a couple of hours. To top off our productive morning, we rewarded ourselves with pedicures! Yup both of us! I feel like I lost five pounds of dead skin from my feet! They feel so nice and clean. I also got a manicure. I am sporting a pretty sea green on both my toes and fingers. Bren is a big fan of pedis these days! He is an excellent companion to have for these little treats!

I havent' felt this relaxed in a long time. That's one thing about prepping for a show, you feel like your mind and body is constantly going. I can appreciate good tunnel vision, but sometimes I just need a break!

This post wasn't nearly as detailed or fulfilling as I had wanted it to be, but I am going to savor the last minutes of the my evening with Brendan. I am so excited to have another relaxing day tomorrow. A day to recover from lifting. The only thing on our agenda is a 60 min walk...I hope tomorrow is as beautiful a day as today was. It's really starting to feel like summer around here! Four weeks until go time...gonna push my best these last four weeks!


I saw this pic. online today and thought it was great!

A Day Behind

I am still making good on my blog...and I am glad, because these last few weeks of prep is when the going gets rough and I need to get tough. After the show I want to look back and see what small tweaks we made and how my body reacted and of course my mental state!

Remember yesterday when I said I enjoyed the morning cardio because I feel awake etc...well its a good thing because my simple morning cardio of burning 200 cals as been upped to 35 minutes now! At first it was a slap in the face,however this morning I didn't mind it. I would like it even better if I wasn't waking up to constant drizzle and gloominess!

Yesterday was our long lifting day-shoulders and arms. I was full of energy and in a good mental place all day until I got home and had down time. By the time we got to the gym at seven, my mind was nuts and I had a horrible mood swing/mini panic attack. Brendan got our newly tweaked plan for the rest of our prep. and I was just dwelling on it. The whole cardio thing is killing me. I get consumed thinking about the cardio we have to do after we lift, and just thinking about it makes me tired. Yesterday's second session was supposed to be stairs but there were a bunch of D-bags taking up the machines. It was annoying to see them hunched over , hanging on the machine for dear life or better yet talking on the phone! Instead we opted for the open bikes. Surprisingly my fifteen sprints weren't bad...and neither was my lifting session. Once I got going I was all good. I just had to jump over the mental hurdle of cardio. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are always tougher because we get to the gym so late.

Going forward I am going to try my best not to dwell on the cardio. Weights are more important and cardio should be mindless. Only a couple more weeks of double sessions.

On the flip side we changed up my diet a little bit as far as food. My cals. didn't change but we did some tweaking with my BCAAs and night meal. I must say, I went to bed happy and full. Well as full as you can be on a contest prep. diet! The change is good, it will help me be fuller for my extended morning cardio.

When we walked out of the gym at nine, I was feeling slightly better. Although, in the back of my mind I had those nasty post contest weight gain thoughts! I hate them....By the end of this prep we will have been busting our buts for 22wks! I don't want to see my body gain weight. I know I can't stay this thin because my body can't survive in this depleted state and make gains, however I fear going back to the dark place where I was this winter-depressed about my body!
I love my veins and my leanness...I feel confident,secure and a little bit bad ass, considering I have more veins in my upper body than most of the guys at the gym! I don't want that to change and I need to keep telling myself it won't and I am in control! Or at least Brendan is! Ha he is like a diet Ninja! He promised to keep us on the straight and narrow beast mode for the off season and I believe him,because he too was unhappy with our last off season binges/weight gain. With that said I am going to trust him and start focusing on day to day business...not looking weeks and months ahead!

One thing about contest prep is the emotions are out of control...so many highs and lows throughout the entire journey. How quick the moods can shift too! It's good that I have Brendan as my rock! I was having mental craziness about not being ready and other girls...can't help thinking and worrying...I know there is always going to be someone better, I just need to focus on me.  Brendan is right, it's all about me and coming in better than my previous self, the rest is out of my control.. I got to keep pushing and giving it my all!

Monday's Missed blog!

So making true on my word about blogging each day of these last five weeks. Since I have a few minutes to spare before school I figure I should blog about my Monday.

Mondays are getting tougher to face, now that school is winding down and basically at this point, its glorified babysitting. For the most part this week is the last real week. After memorial day all the fun stuff happens at school, and lucky for me I have all four day weeks left after this last push. I am getting in my last tests, so I can get my grades done early. I was a tad on the cranky side yesterday at school. I am finding low carb days to be the worst as far as my patience. I am not even starving, but just short fused.

My weight was up in the morning, which was a bummer, but really not that big of a deal since it's normal to fluctuate. However, no matter how hard I try not to let the scale get in my head, it always does! Yesterday is technically our off day, but we still do 60 min. of walking, but no lifting. My body was beat because I slept like crap the night before. I had posing practice weighing heavy on my mind or I should say lack of posing. I hate it so much-but I am starting to stress out about it. I must get it done.

I headed to the gym to get my walk on. Usually I take my Nook to pass time. I read for the first twenty minutes but then was tired of it.  For some reason it seemed like it was taking too much effort. I decided to people watch instead. There are so many stupid people at the gym. I wish I could pick them off one by one and tell them what they are doing wrong. I mean, I am not miss know it all but some of these people workout like idiots or shouldI say most of the people. It's painful to watch some people! It was hot and stuffy and I was starved so I didn't stick around to do abs. I headed home instead to my special bowl of oats! I love everything I put in my mouth! Clean food really makes me happy. I just wish I could have more of it. I will not go back to eating any junk this time around. It's going to be pure beast mode for Brendan and I after this comp. and I can't wait!

I got like seven minutes of posing in and I was spent -physically and emotionally. It takes a lot of out your brain and body. I get frustrated so easily. Looking at myself in the mirror I see all my imperfections. It truly is my worst enemy. I hate the mirror and the scale equally.

I am about to embark on the toughest part of the week workout wise. Tues-Thurs. kicks my ass.  with double sessions of cardio, HIIT included and lifting. It certainly is a physical beat down. This morning I kicked it off with my 200 cals. cardio. I really don't mind this too much, because I find it helps wake me up. The toughest part of these days is after school waiting for Brendan to finish work. It gives me down time and it's the longest period of time I have to wait between meals. Oh well I am going to get at it!

We officially signed up for the show last night. We are pretty much good to go as far as hotels, suits, tanning appointments. It's all coming together. My goal for this year is to have fun! Last comp. was scary and stressful, and not so much fun in some ways. No doubt I was proud of the hard work, but this time around I want to actually enjoy it, like really really enjoy it!

Until later...peace out!

5 wks!

Hello blog world, here I am making good on  my blogging declaration. I am going to do  my best at recording the last five weeks of prep.
This weekend has been a punch in the face energy wise. I feel knocked out! Thank goodness nothing this weekend has required high energy. At this point in prep. my energy gets low fast due to my depleted body!

Yesterday, I had to babysit my niece for the day. I packed up my food and was out the door by seven. I have noticed during this prep. I am much better at packing up  my food. It doesn't take me nearly as long as it used to and I know exactly what I need at all times. I always feel prepared and way less stressed when it comes to taking food on the road. Last prep. I felt panicked when I knew I had to pack up my meals. Brendan and I are professional food packers now!

The morning went well, I took Rory to dance and we played a bit. Lucky for me we did some low key coloring and puzzles, nothing required too much energy and I was happy to indulge in nap time myself when the clock struck one. It was a beautiful day outside and usually I am a sun worshipper, but I was happy as a clam sleeping away the afternoon on my sister's couch.
When I got home Brendan and I ate preworkout and headed to the gym. Our usual Saturday night is closing up the gym. Yesterday was no diff. We trained chest and back and squeaked out forty minutes on the elliptical. The past couple of workouts we haven't been recording. Usually I carry a mini clipboard with me and record my weights. I feel less stressed without it. Tuesday I'll be back to having clipboard in hand. I do love making note of everything, but the past few days has been a nice break. We are between workouts right now, so I have one more day of no clipboard. After that, it's all business.

This morning we did our calorie cardio right when we woke up. I didn't mind it at all. It's kinda nice waking up together, getting it done and then coming home to eat breakfast together. No doubt I am super hungry by the time we sit to eat. Lately on Sunday mornings, we have been watching Friends reruns as we eat iyr eggs and oats-loving it!
We headed out right after breakfast to search for polyester warm ups for the competition after we get our spray tan done. Mission accomplished! We still need to find a zippy for Brendan but we both got pants and I got a zippy. I am not gonna lie...I like my new competition threads. Comfy and sporty, just the way I like it! This time around we opted to pay the price and get professionally spray tanned. I am really looking forward to not having to paint one another. Hopefully, it goes as smooth as I am envisioning in my mind and the process makes the money worth it!

We headed to the lake to catch some sun and people watch. It was time well spent relaxing and chatting. I get super excited when we talk about our post comp. training/eating plan. I am excited to make changes and get serious again. I love this life!

Despite having low energy and being a tad bit hungry lately I wouldn't choose any other sport or way of life. We still need to knock out legs and intervals later today, but it's all good. I love rising against the challenge! I am going to enjoy the rest of my Sunday with my love.

 I am not excited for school tomorrow but I promised myself the days of school stress are over. I am tapped out....there are only like seventeen teaching days left. I got this! This is my last full week of school! The rest of the year I have four day weeks-then helllooo summer!

On a side note...I have slept like a baby the past two nights. That's a real treat considering most of the week I toss and turn or pee a million times throughout the night!

Five Weeks

So here I am again, regretting the fact that I haven't blogged throughout my prep. My original intent in creating this blog was to record the ups and downs of contest prep,emotionally and physically. I wanted to do this so I could look back and read about my moods, strengths, gains and challenges during my prep. I think its important to do this because looking back when all is said and done it's hard to remember the specifics.
For instance I said to Brendan this morning that last prep. I couldn't remember not sleeping (my current issue) during prep. He reminded me that too was the same last prep. Even though most of the prep is behind me, I will now be consistent with blogging for the last five weeks. It will be important for the home stretch to get down the details, so the next time around I can look back. Yes that's right...next time around! We are shooting to do The Cape show in October.

As of right now training has picked up quite a bit. I am doing cardio twice a day, easy elliptical 200 cals int he a.m. and intervals of some sort at night. I do have two off days from lifting, but not cardio. I am cool with the current plan, I have adjusted to it,now that I am in my second week of it. My body is responding so that keeps my motivation going. I am leaner at this point then what I was when I first stepped on stage-bonus! My body is getting tired, and it feels that the end is in sight. So far my attitude is way better than last prep. I feel good about how things are going. Not to say I am not hungry, but this time around I don't feel like my world was taken away. I like our routine. I do indeed miss date night, but it's all good. I am pleased to have the best husband and training partner here to pick me up when I feel down.

Today I got down to the south shore to meet with the lady who will be making my suit. I am excited. It's all coming together now. On Sunday I will be trying a posing class for the first time. I know from here on it,I got to get those heels on and practice.

Did I mention today I have personal day from school-lovely! Brendan and I did our morning cardio together (40 min. goes by faster with him next to me for some reason) and went to Trader Joes to stock up on potatoes. Today is a high carb day so we are all smiles.

On the personal front, I am getting sad but excited for the end of the school year. At this point, I hate going into school because I know I won't be there next year. I am trying my best to put up a good front and keeping my fingers crossed I don't have to wait until the end of the summer to know what I will be doing in the fall. My dream would be to make fitness my whole life and screw teaching. However, I know that is just a dream. Reality is I need a steady job and benefits for Bren and I . Oh well....for today I will enjoy my carbs and day off!

May ...bleh

Well it's May 2nd...and I have failed miserably in posting regularly. I have hits a few bumps in the road...but I still have my health! I am currently looking for a teaching job for the fall. Going to school each day has been harder. It's honestly the last place I want to be, despite my love for my class. I can't wait until MCAS comes and goes. It is so stressful to prep. Also,  my kids are slowly but surely checking out with each passing day. It makes it difficult to keep them on track. I can't blame them, they are done and ready for summer.
Our hunt for a house is on hold until the whole job thing works out...bummer, but what can you do right?
As for the training, it's going well. We are eight weeks out, seven on Saturday. I have had some significant changes in my training and diet. Increase on the first and decrease on the second. I am still holding on strong and am pleased to be in the upper 120 range. I have some low energy/hungry days, but it's a lot better this time around. My goal is to get as lean as possible. Hopefully, fingers crossed I made some changes.

As of right now we are carb cycling. Two low days, moderate, and high days are followed after low. In the cardio department I am doing two SS days of thirty minutes, and three HIIT days of 15 intervals. Last week we threw in a plyo day as one of our SS days. I think we plan to do the same this week, for something different. I haven't yet thought about a suit yet, or taken a walk in my heels, but I know I need to do that soon. I am dreading posing, I hate looking in the mirror...but it has to be done!

Coffee is my BFF these days! I have many ups and downs emotionally. It's all part of the ride. Lately, been feeling down -the weather is crappy, I think it's my "period" week even though I am not actually bleeding...and I am getting all psyched out by facebook posts and updates of people. I tell ya, this is a cocky sport, people are so full of themselves-it is crazy!!!! I def. don't have an ego like some of these maniacs! We'll see what happens as the stage day approaches!

Just maybe I ll get my act together and start posting...I mean this is the home stretch and the weeks when it's really a ride on the crazy train! The rest of the weeks were the calm before the storm!