Thursday, September 20, 2012

Do you ever go to bed thinking about your breakfast for the next morning? This happens to me every single night! There's a lot to be said for a good bowl of oats and berries with a mini egg white omelet and a steamy cup of Joe in the morning. I am a huge fan of breakfast. I don't know how people can skip such a glorious meal. I love my morning routine. I eat my favorite meal as I read healthy living blogs and of course check out facebook----LOSER!
When I don't get to engage in my morning routine I feel a little off for the rest of the day. That was the story this morning. I was in a bit of a rush to get out the door.The time I usually spend waking up and reading was cut in half, basically nonexistent. I checked my email quickly and the weather, that's it. My big plan of the day was to  meet up with my sister for an early morning cardio combat class at her gym (which is so nice)then spend the morning with her and my niece Rory. This is my new Thurs. schedule. Although today was the first day of the combat class. I have been dieing to try some sort of exercise class to see what they are all about. It's def. not my usual thing at all, but I was curious. A lot of the blogs I read, are full of girls doing such classes so I thought I would give it a whirl. It's good to mix things up. I def. left feeling a tad disappointed. I think my expectations for a good kill me type workout were set too high. I liked the music and the energy of the class, but I felt a little cramped and afraid I was going to kick or punch somebody in the head. Not on purpose of course! It was good for me to get it out of my system. Now if I could quench my thirst for a good yoga class I will be all set. However the true story is, I  am a meathead to the core, always will be and nothing beats lifting weights!

Yesterday we did a power leg workout and needless to say my legs are sore and heavy today. I always get super anxious and nerved up on leg day for some reason. I often wonder if that happens to anybody else? As I have said many times before, it is my all time favorite workout. My dead lifts were a little on the weak side for some reason, but that's cool with me. It will be something to work toward. We were able to workout in the afternoon again, so it was nice and quiet. Due to this reason I was able to enjoy a hot dinner of steak , veggies and rice. It is the best when the steak is hot off the grill.
After dinner t we went to our favorite store : WHOLE FOODS to pick up a few items and treat ourselves to an iced Americano our new favorite craving! Whole Foods makes the best, I think it's because they have unsweetened almond milk to give it a nutty flavor. We both have addictive personalities when it comes to food/drinks we enjoy so we put a two special coffee limit on the week. Last night was number two, so we are dunzo for this week. It gets expensive!
I had a mini meltdown about our current situation-me with no job and all. I am so up and down with it lately, I absolutely hate it. I got a phone call from old school about subbing so I got wicked stressed out and then WHAM out of no where it was waterworks central. Blah, needless to say I was crankus for the rest of the night...bummer.
I was glad to wake up and get out of the house early this morning. I just got back from a casual walk and am waiting for Bren to get home so we can eat preworkout and bounce! Tonight is back and shoulders...gonna have to throw elbows around at the gym. Perhaps I'll whip out my cardio combat moves from this morning- jab, jab -Cross!!
Hopefully by the time we get there it will have died down a bit.

Tomorrow is the start of the weekend, so that means date night at Flatbreads to kick it off. Last weekend we missed out because I was still thinking about the show . Tomorrow is a highly anticipated night on both our parts. We truly love date nights. It's stress free and we get to have a treat that we work hard for all week! Also tomorrow bonus- they have pumpin beer on tap. We have been waiting for this big change over from Sea Dog Blueberry to Wolaver Pumpkin Ale all season and the time had finally come. Woot Woot!

I have been seeing a lot of fall bucket lists around the blogsphere...I might have to make one for myself before fall disappears and the winter comes knocking!

1. Drink Pumpkin Beer-CHECK!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

New Plan

Remember last week I was saying I never quit anything? Well I guess I have to eat my words. I have decided to back out of the show on the 29th because for me it's not worth it.

 My body still has not recovered from 22 wks. of dieting and show prep leading into my June show and my mind hasn't recovered either. Quite frankly, I am just not ready to restrict myself in the diet department and get at the cardio again. It was becoming way too stressful and as a result my body was rebelling. I have adjusted my diet appropriately and I already feel so much better. It is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I talked it out with Brendan and immediately felt better with my decision. Plus, financially right now it's not a smart decision. There is a lot of  money that goes into one show. It is crazy! I already have added pep in my step at the gym. It no longer feels like something I have to get done. Lifting feels normal and fun again. You truly need a strong mental state of mind before embarking on the prep. journey. I just am not there. I have too many other concerns and worries other than show prep. I need a break. I need to adjust my priorities and start focusing on enjoying my life again. Friday date nights are the only night where I completely let myself relax. At this point, I can't take it out of the equation and be happy. It's what I look forward to at the end of a long week. We eat clean and train hard year round so I am just going with it....I don't need to prep for a show to keep me motivated. Yes, it helps, but it's not the time.

On the workout front, we have switched up our workouts again. It has been four weeks. We are back on Layne Norton style training (a mix of power and endurance). They are long workouts and very intense, I am going to need all the food I can get to make them count (another reason why I am glad I have decided not to prep. for the 29th). Yesterday was upper body/power workout. It wiped me out. I loved the change up in exercises. I felt my back when I woke up this morning and my arms feel heavy- good sign! We will hit legs twice a wk. on this workout-which excites me!

This past weekend we went camping in NH with a couple of friends. It was a fantastic getaway, just what my crazy self needed. It truly was a beautiful fall weekend. The campsite we camped in was in the National forest. It was not a commercial site, like Bren and I camped at earlier in the summer. It was REAL camping! There were bathrooms  however, thank goodness, but that was about it for amenities. The bathrooms were very clean which was a bonus. A girl needs a clean place to pee and wash up!
Our friends went up on Friday night and got settled in for the weekend. We joined them early Saturday morning. It was kinda great to have the campsite all set up #spoiled! On our drive up the views were gorgeous. The sky was like HD TV so crisp and clear. When we arrived we didn't waste anytime, we hopped back in the car and headed to the mountain.
We ended up doing a  seven and a half mile hike-4,802 ft. It was a steady inlcine the entire way up. Def. the most challenging hike I have ever done. I loved it ! When we got to the top of the mountain, the sky was grey and it was super windy and cold. If it was a better day, the views would have been amazing. I didn't want to hang at the top for too long because the elements were too much for me. My face and fingers were frozen! The hike down wasn't too bad, it seemed to have gone quick.

I was famished all night long due to our hike. I couldn't get enough good food into my body. Delicious, grilled chicken, veggies, quinoa and crinks satisfied my hungry belly. I wanted to replenish my body with healthy, nutritious food. While the others were munching endlessly on crapola I was perfectly content with my clean food. I think perhaps it raised a few eyebrows, the fact that we weren't shoveling in Doritos and Cheezits, but that's all good. They were curious as to what we were eating, but I am thinking at this point they get me and my lifestyle and if they don't -OH WELL!

Not that I was judging because I totally was not BUT the amount of junk my friends consumed over the weekend was UNREAL! I think people don't realize how calorie dense trail mix is and chippies are. Totally not worth it in my eyes. I want to eat and be full.  Grazing on junk food just doesn't fill me up. I know it tastes delicious, but that only lasts a second. I have learned over the past couple of years it's not worth it. I look at food as fuel/energy. I do indulge on things that I consider to be worth it to me- I enjoyed two hearty, seasonal beers with my meal. Two is enough for me. It goes straight to my head these days. On a positive note, I think it helped to keep me warm.
After sitting by the fire for a bit, it was lights out for all! Turns out a day of hiking wipes you out-pretty sure we were in out tents by 9:30!

The next morning I woke up starving! We were up and out of our tent early to eat breakfast.I want to say six o'clockish. Perhaps even earlier. We left the campsite with our oats and  hard boils in search of some hot water! Luckily for us Tedeschi was open bright and early. We feasted on our breakfast right there in the parking lot and of course we got our coffee fix too. Somehow my car always ends up stinking like farts when we go on these trips-thanks to munching on hard boiled eggs in the front seat!

After our front seat feast we returned to the campsite with a box of joe for everybody and consumed breakfast #2, three hours later with the gang. I guess that's the bonus of waking up early and having a fully charged metabolism. I am pretty sure I went to bed dreaming and maybe even drooling of breakfast #2 - I had a bagel with natural PB from Trader Joes. Very rarely do I indulge in these...and every time I do, I enjoy every last crumb-WORTH IT! It settles the craving until the next fitting occasion and makes for a happy me.

We hung for a bit around the fire-it truly was relaxing. Did I mention I love getting away from reality and the city? After a bit, we packed up and headed back to Beantown. We spent the rest of Sunday eating good, clean food to replenish our bodies and resting up for the workouts ahead. It's not every day you climb a mountain for 4hrs. Recharge days are so necessary and such a treat.

Yesterday was a great workout. I was fully recharged and had a body full of fuel and my head was in a good place. Today we were supposed to do legs, but it's pretty terrible here weather wise and Brendan's schedule is stinkus so we decided to take today as our off day. We will get at tomorrow in full leg day fashion! It will be nice because we will have the gym to ourselves during the afternoon. There is nothing more annoying than those goofy gym goers we all love to hate. You now the ones on their phones, taking up space and gawking in the mirror-Yup we love to hate them!

So tonight its resting for me...We are catching up on past show seasons. We recently got a new deal with Comcast . We now get all the stations and past show seasons on demand. We are new fans of Homeland which comes out this month for season two. Luckily we had that rest day on Sunday-we are all set to go now! Haha. Tonight we are going to start on Friday Night Lights. This show I hear is great! I know there are no more seasons, but there are like seven old ones, so that should keep us busy for some time!

Until tomorrow...peace out!

Friday, September 14, 2012

Disordered Thinking

I have been feeling a little disorderd lately. I think it's because I have too much time on my hands. I def. don't handle change or stress well and I am way too hard on myself. Seriously, who do I think I am ....I wish I could figure myself out.
I feel like before I started training for shows I was way more relaxed and carefree. I love that this is my life, but I would LOVE even more to find balance in the lifestyle. As a result of bodybuilding I feel I am super critical of myself, have become crazy sensitive to touch, too aware of every little calorie and have not a carefree bone in my body. Sometimes I wonder if ignorance is bliss....Every move I make is thought about and calculated. Talk about a major difference from my college days! Ha!
With my extra time, I have been exploring new blogs. I love that these bloggers have found a balance in their lives. I find comfort in reading their daily blogs. I hope that some day I can embrace a more relaxed sense of being.
I am a very goal oriented person, which is a good thing, but I need to chill out a bit. September is flying by at lightening speed. My goal (haha) for October is to commit to three things I would like to work on for myself. I will think long and hard about these things and give it my 100% effort. The tasks I choose will be ones not to obsess over, but rather ones to help me become more relaxed. HMMMM...

Yesterday was a rest day for me. We did however take a three mile walk to return our Redbox rental. It was nothing crazy, just some good ol' active recovery.
Since committing to the show at the end of Sept. and doing a mini cut, I am constantly hungry. I was at a point where I was loving my meals and fully satisfied after eating. I actually think my body is hating me since I have cut. It looks like crap and I feel my hair is dry and with my fading summer tan I have bags under my eyes.I may have reevaluate come this Monday and add more food. It doesn't help I am trying my best to ward off stress...because we all know that sucks for the body! Today we have our last leg day of our current workout plan. I look forward to a change. Leg day is my all time fav, so it's a great way to kick off this fabulous weekend ahead. The weather is absolutely beautiful! I love fall!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

September Keeps on Rolling

It's hard to believe we are almost into the middle of September. The weeks just keep rolling past. I love this time of year, when the weather changes. New England is the best place to live during these upcoming months. You wake up and the mornings are crisp & cool and by afternoon you are able to shed a layer of clothing and are completely comfortable under mother nature's warming sun.
I am into my second week of no job, it's quite an adjustment for me and has completely thrown my mental state of wellness for a loop. Therefor its completely messing with my body. I have constant stomach aches, headaches and muscle tension that won't quit! I have hit a motivation rut as well as far as working out. I was just telling Brendan last night I have no pep in my step. I swore of stress last night. I am starting fresh today and hopefully all my physical ailments will subside. Its sucks not being able to poop! I know TMI....I have had this pocket of bloat in my lower stomach that is absolutely haunting!

I am still going to pursue the show at the end of the month. I feel at this point I could go either way -do the show or not, BUT I am not one for quitting anything I set my mind to doing. I have a little over two weeks to stay tight with my diet and get some good cardio and lifts in. I will tell you I was happier before I committed to this show, BUT like I said it's so close and I feel I would be more disappointed if I didn't follow through. Plus, I am curious to see what this organization is all about. However, the unknown frightens the heck out of me.

As far as my workouts have gone since I last wrote, they haven't been anything spectacular. I am kinda bummed, but it's because mentally I am just a nut bag over not having a job. I feel I am having trouble focusing on being in the moment. Those of who lift for real, know that mind/muscle connection is key to a good worout. I know everything will work out once I settle into a new schedule and come to grips with this curve ball. I need to keep telling myself it's temporary. I have started getting up in the morning to do a casual walk, nothing crazy, more of clear my head, start the day positive type of walk. Like I said you can't beat the mornings in New England...its very relaxing.

We are going camping this weekend with friends in NH. I look forward to getting away. We have a  big hike planned for Saturday which I am super excited for.

My meals are smaller due to prepping for the show. It leaves me with less options to mix and match, which is disappointing. Although I am still eating over 1600 cals. It's crazy to think I was eating even more and staying lean. I look forward to getting my cals up again so I can start cooking some good, hearty, fall meals and eat more of a variety.

On one of my walks this week, I thought for a quick second about not competing again...Is it worth it? I am all of sudden nervous about the effects it has on my body. I LOVE, LOVE the sport and training hard, but I fear that it will take Bren and I forever to have a baby because it takes our bodies forever to recover.

Bodybuilding is nuts...everything about it. It is a different world that few understand and few live. I am thinking that was a fleeting thought, but we will see what the start of the new year brings as far as competing goes. Until then...I need to focus on getting my pep back and not stressing so much! It is taking a toll on my life and as we all know-LIFE IS TOO SHORT*

I want to leave this post on a positive note (since that is what I am working on)

Things I am loving or looking forward to:

1. Football season started- Sunday Plans always!
2. Fall weather
3. The Show / New adventure
4.Our next Flatbreads date night 9/30/12
5. The holidays ( They are going to come fast!)

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Back to School...not for me

Today I woke up with an instant loser feeling. This would have been the first day of school for me if I  was still working at my old school...pardon me while I wipe my tears. Grhhh, enough about that, I am not going to dwell on my current unemployment situation. This is not what this blog is all about! Ha it's about my passion...fitness. Although, believe me if something awesome comes my way in the job department I'll keep you posted! For now trying to maintain healthy, positive attitude that something is going to come my way. After all stress is terrible for the body. I have started to get my tension headaches again from stress, hopefully over the next couple of weeks I'll adjust and come up with some kind of schedule for myself. Next week I plan on putting my name in for subbing locally and maybe get a Nanny job if the timing works out.

On to the fitness related stuff happening in my life. This past weekend I have decided with the help of Brendan to compete one last time at the end of the month. However, I will not be doing the figure category as I usually do. I am going to give the fitness model category a whirl! Totally different from the pressure of figure...we'll see. I am going to have to be girly girly runway style, which cracks me up just thinking about it. It's something different and something for me to shoot for and focus on. As far as my body, I could probably step on stage as is, but we are cleaning it up for the next three weeks. Nothing too crazy like prepping for an OCB show, just cutting a few cals and adding a bit of cardio. Today is only day two and I am hungry! It is crazy how much food I was eating and still staying pretty lean. It goes to show you how well we did with our reverse diet and keeping ourselves in check food wise. Only healthy, good, muscle, building food enters this pie hole these days. I couldn't be more happy either. I finally feel in control of myself-it's in a sense very liberating. It is my lifestyle. I am proud of it. I eat to stay lean and gain muscles. It is who I am!

We are on week three of our volume training switch up. I can't imagine lifting any other way. My old workouts, diet and everything about last off season was so unhealthy. I am happy to say it is just a distant memory now, that continues to fade with each smart, healthy move I make. I am moving forward and accomplishing great things in the gym. I have a total balance in my life.

To keep things interesting in the cardio department, I am looking to add some boxing into the mix hopefully over the next few weeks and perhaps a spin class too. I need a little variety. I enjoyed adding tredmill sprints into the routine. I did bike intervals on Monday for the first time since deciding to do this show and what a difference a little side motivation makes in how hard you push. It was a great feeling to be gassed at the end of a quick cardio session.

Some exciting news for me : I got invited to compete at the DFAC world championship in Miami on Nov 3rd (as a result of winning my class at the Baystate). I won't be going, but it still felt cool getting the invite to compete since it's an invite only show! Anyway, I think I am going to stretch my legs and go for a walk...too much time on my hands these days without a job!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

My week so far...

I started this week with a day off from the lifting. Although it wasn't planned, I am glad that I listened to my body and took the day to recoup a little. In all seriousness, everywhere you poked or touched on my body was sore and I couldn't picture myself putting up any good weight at the gym. I woke up with the intention of lifting in the evening, so I headed to the gym after I digested a bit to do some cardio. I hate having to do it after I lift because by that time I am drained! I decided to do sprints on the treadmill. Something about sprints makes me feel awesome! The gym was pretty dead-I liked it! When I do sprints on the treadmill I get a little self conscious because I feel like people stare at me, or that I sound like an elephant running. I warmed up first with a walk, then a gentle jog. My body felt good after my muscles were warmed up and I felt light. I ended up putting the treadmill on an incline because the last time I did sprints on the treadmill it was flat and I didn't get the gut wrenching tired feeling after each one. I love that feeling. It makes me feel alive! I cranked it up to 6.5 incline. I didn't want to do anything too crazy until I knew I could handle it. I ran 15 sec.  intervals @ speed 11 with 45 secs recovery (completely off with legs to the side of the belt). Now that was a good heart pumper for me. My hamstrings were giving out with five seconds left-good challenge. I did ten sprints, that's about all I could handle and did gentle jog cool down, eventually into a walk. By the end of that I was starving, so I ditched the abs and headed home to eat. No weights in the evening. We needed to get to bed early and rest up. Our late night Saturday with friends caught up to us. We are usually in bed 1030 the very latest-yup even on the weekends!

My day off from weights paid off in a big way! My Workout Tuesday (yesterday) was amazeballs. I woke up early, ate my favorite breakfast in the world (eggs with fresh tomato & overnight oats and berries with almond butter) and headed to the gym after digesting. I was in it to win it! I was totally focused and ready for the workout. It helped that I had a fabulously, new, perfect fitting Pats hat and new $12.99 Nike Kicks on and was in the zone. Side note: The night before I got a steal of a deal (thank you coupons and sales clerk who rang me up wrong) on a pair of black Nike Sneaks. I have been looking for black sneakers since Bren got his. I sweat his style what can I say. Mine have White laces though, so not totally like his. Anyway..needless to say the new gym swag gave me a little extra pep in my step. Plus, I feel when I work off my breakfast meal I am stronger. It might just be mental...

Monday was the first time in forever that I worked out solo without Brendan.  I was worried that I wouldn't have as much push, BUT I sure did! It was back and I was strong! My goal lately has been unassisted pull ups. Before we started our volume training I could probably squeak out one pull up if I was lucky. With the help of lots of rack chins I am now able to get four on my own for three sets! It's the little things that make me feel like I am gaining strength and muscle. My back workout was strong the whole twenty something sets and I even had abs in me at the end AND topped it of with ten intervals on the bike. It was a good day indeed at the gym! I needed it. You know when you have those workouts that are not only physically pleasing but also mentally make you feel good-that back workout was one of them! It has now set me up to have a good week of working out!

The reason I had to lift solo yesterday was because I had a long overdue hair appointment! My hair looked horrible brassy, dry and just gross from the summer. Now it's back to it's old healthy self. I was really feeling self conscious about it for awhile. Thank goodness for hats! I love working out in my hat these days. It is a mental thing with me now-need it! Wearing it puts me in the zone!

I am currently getting a taste of what its like to not have a job, schedule and daily routine. It sucks! I was hoping this week would bring a last minute teaching opportunity. So far, not so good! It's killing me! I am such a type A person, lack of structure destroys me. I have too much time on my hands and there is only so much stuff (food prep, working out, blog reading) that a girl can handle! Next week, after the holiday is the true reality of it all. At that point I will start applying for Nanny jobs I guess. I crave structure! This whole no job things really puts  a damper on life and moving forward. We can't look for houses, we no longer have insurance and money becomes a stress. My Dad tells me everything works out, and I get it, I know this isn't forever, but I am not one to sit around and I certainly don't enjoy this no structure business!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Ready To Take It On!

The end of summer is always bittersweet for me. Usually at this point I am prepping my classroom for the upcoming school year. However, due to the fact at this point I do not have a job for the fall, the end of summer is not actually an end for me just yet.
 This week coming up is a big week for me. I am hoping something comes my way last minute. I have NEVER not had a teaching job for the year. It's so weird...I am trying my very best not to totally freak out, but it is HARD! Stress is my enemy. When it comes over me, I totally morph into something else and it messes with my body big time. NOT GOOD.

I am finished with my Nanny job as of this past Thurs. Thank goodness, I was completely expired.  This week my life is starting fresh. I want to start blogging more to keep track of myself. It is so hard to think back to last year and where I was at mentally and physically at this point in the year. I know I went wacky at the start of fall, due to the school year and my new role as the math teacher. All and all last school year was anxiety central! I am hopeful that this fall will be different. I do feel more in control of my whole life. It's crazy how your mental well being affects every single thing. I let my body go last year and caved into emotional eating. I felt terrible about myself, and when I wasn't dressed for work, you would only catch me in sweats and a sweatshirt.I guess you could say I was depressed. BUT what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...I know so cliche of me. Although, very true.

Another reason I want to blog, is to keep track of this off season progress etc. So far it has totally rocked! No binge eating, or mental craziness (maybe a few episodes) about gaining weight and the scale. I never really recapped my competition in detail and now I can't recall all the nitty, gritty details that I so badly wanted to get in this blog. So that is why I am getting back at starting with this post that is seriously all over the place! Once I get more consistent it won't sound so nutty. Besides who cares this is for my own good...

 Lord knows with no job, I'll have time to get my thoughts down. Anyway, we have totally kicked off season ass so far. Our workouts have been banging, I am still lean and getting stronger by the week. I am eating more food (Cals) than I have in the past two years ...actually my adult life for that matter. I am  eating good clean/balanced meals, that fuel my body and workouts. I feel like I am so in control of everything.It is a good change for once. We do our Flatbreads date nights, and have our organic greek yog  for dessert. The date night out, eating my fav pizza, totally rewards/and satisfies me. It also a relaxing way to start the weekend. By Friday night I feel like I kicked my ass good and I deserve it.

 I feel good...Great for that matter and I want to continue on this path. I am training to win next year...

My workouts are way more intense-we are doing volume training these days and I love it! My strength has increased and my passion is back. Also, our diet is so varied, I am not eating the same meals ever.  We are continueouly switching our proteins, carbs and veggies. I never eat the same combo.Everything is balanced....I know my fitness journey and healthy lifestyle will be forever changing, but I am really digging how far I have come and where I am headed.

I continue to be inspired by the many blogs I read. I love, love that I am always learning new things from them, whether it be a recipe, song, book, or a good ol' attitude shift-I love it all!

I am back again...and I hope to stay this time!  I feel...On top of the world, ready to take on the future!