It's hard to believe we are almost into the middle of September. The weeks just keep rolling past. I love this time of year, when the weather changes. New England is the best place to live during these upcoming months. You wake up and the mornings are crisp & cool and by afternoon you are able to shed a layer of clothing and are completely comfortable under mother nature's warming sun.
I am into my second week of no job, it's quite an adjustment for me and has completely thrown my mental state of wellness for a loop. Therefor its completely messing with my body. I have constant stomach aches, headaches and muscle tension that won't quit! I have hit a motivation rut as well as far as working out. I was just telling Brendan last night I have no pep in my step. I swore of stress last night. I am starting fresh today and hopefully all my physical ailments will subside. Its sucks not being able to poop! I know TMI....I have had this pocket of bloat in my lower stomach that is absolutely haunting!
I am still going to pursue the show at the end of the month. I feel at this point I could go either way -do the show or not, BUT I am not one for quitting anything I set my mind to doing. I have a little over two weeks to stay tight with my diet and get some good cardio and lifts in. I will tell you I was happier before I committed to this show, BUT like I said it's so close and I feel I would be more disappointed if I didn't follow through. Plus, I am curious to see what this organization is all about. However, the unknown frightens the heck out of me.
As far as my workouts have gone since I last wrote, they haven't been anything spectacular. I am kinda bummed, but it's because mentally I am just a nut bag over not having a job. I feel I am having trouble focusing on being in the moment. Those of who lift for real, know that mind/muscle connection is key to a good worout. I know everything will work out once I settle into a new schedule and come to grips with this curve ball. I need to keep telling myself it's temporary. I have started getting up in the morning to do a casual walk, nothing crazy, more of clear my head, start the day positive type of walk. Like I said you can't beat the mornings in New England...its very relaxing.
We are going camping this weekend with friends in NH. I look forward to getting away. We have a big hike planned for Saturday which I am super excited for.
My meals are smaller due to prepping for the show. It leaves me with less options to mix and match, which is disappointing. Although I am still eating over 1600 cals. It's crazy to think I was eating even more and staying lean. I look forward to getting my cals up again so I can start cooking some good, hearty, fall meals and eat more of a variety.
On one of my walks this week, I thought for a quick second about not competing again...Is it worth it? I am all of sudden nervous about the effects it has on my body. I LOVE, LOVE the sport and training hard, but I fear that it will take Bren and I forever to have a baby because it takes our bodies forever to recover.
Bodybuilding is nuts...everything about it. It is a different world that few understand and few live. I am thinking that was a fleeting thought, but we will see what the start of the new year brings as far as competing goes. Until then...I need to focus on getting my pep back and not stressing so much! It is taking a toll on my life and as we all know-LIFE IS TOO SHORT*
I want to leave this post on a positive note (since that is what I am working on)
Things I am loving or looking forward to:
1. Football season started- Sunday Plans always!
2. Fall weather
3. The Show / New adventure
4.Our next Flatbreads date night 9/30/12
5. The holidays ( They are going to come fast!)
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