Disordered Thinking

I have been feeling a little disorderd lately. I think it's because I have too much time on my hands. I def. don't handle change or stress well and I am way too hard on myself. Seriously, who do I think I am ....I wish I could figure myself out.
I feel like before I started training for shows I was way more relaxed and carefree. I love that this is my life, but I would LOVE even more to find balance in the lifestyle. As a result of bodybuilding I feel I am super critical of myself, have become crazy sensitive to touch, too aware of every little calorie and have not a carefree bone in my body. Sometimes I wonder if ignorance is bliss....Every move I make is thought about and calculated. Talk about a major difference from my college days! Ha!
With my extra time, I have been exploring new blogs. I love that these bloggers have found a balance in their lives. I find comfort in reading their daily blogs. I hope that some day I can embrace a more relaxed sense of being.
I am a very goal oriented person, which is a good thing, but I need to chill out a bit. September is flying by at lightening speed. My goal (haha) for October is to commit to three things I would like to work on for myself. I will think long and hard about these things and give it my 100% effort. The tasks I choose will be ones not to obsess over, but rather ones to help me become more relaxed. HMMMM...

Yesterday was a rest day for me. We did however take a three mile walk to return our Redbox rental. It was nothing crazy, just some good ol' active recovery.
Since committing to the show at the end of Sept. and doing a mini cut, I am constantly hungry. I was at a point where I was loving my meals and fully satisfied after eating. I actually think my body is hating me since I have cut. It looks like crap and I feel my hair is dry and with my fading summer tan I have bags under my eyes.I may have reevaluate come this Monday and add more food. It doesn't help I am trying my best to ward off stress...because we all know that sucks for the body! Today we have our last leg day of our current workout plan. I look forward to a change. Leg day is my all time fav, so it's a great way to kick off this fabulous weekend ahead. The weather is absolutely beautiful! I love fall!